Wee

It's odd, having paid close attention to conspiracy theorists and the manner in which they operate, in which they think. I feel as if part of one, considering private (civil) conversation was used without my knowledge and proved only to make the situation worse.

So, in the given position, one cannot even make public one's thoughts and feelings in fear of backlash. Which is odd; when one has nothing ill to say, but rather depiction of how one was treated, how can one be kept in fear? How is that just?

The simple of it, for sake of long-term memory, was emperor for only a day after a series of arguments that lead only to the loss of a friend in which I only ever helped as often as I could, and my personal feelings of a situation used as ammunition against me. Relenting my sackholder position and leadership of WindurstCrusade, doubt it'll be seen more than folly by most. Better that way, honestly. I can't stand the torrent of nonsense--and I did, after all, say I wouldn't put up with it. Didn't mean it quite this way at the time, but it's for the best.

Not that this (clothless) emperor is bitter. Best wishes always, but most ties best be severed for her sake. It was nice knowing you, Windurst.

Introspective.

Been listening to Maisha's song with what little tolerance my headache has left for noise. For someone that sometimes has problems expressing himself, he's got some amazing musical talent.

A decidedly short time ago, the linkshell was without leader and quietly dying. Puzzled as to why no one was doing anything toward the linkshell's future, I scheduled a sackholder meeting that was held in the hostel. A leader was chosen out of necessity, and everything seemed alright. For the most part, it was, despite the buzz in the back of my skull that tends to cause trouble if ignored.

Any degree of premonition failed to see a sudden loss of leadership once more, though, only to have it immediately handed to me.

Me, as myself, is a subject I tend to ignore to communicate and loathe to articulate. That is, I don't like talking about me (even avoid the definitive pronouns 'I' and 'me' wherever possible). But it serves to log what is going on to really get a grasp of the situation. On a general basis, 'quiet,' 'discerning' and 'introspective' serve the purpose just fine; that would overlook the problems such as being too unknown for some, or that my need to exercise my vocabulary by text seems annoying to others. Verbosenessity only seems fun on one side of the deal, though I can't see why. Guess not everyone liked Chuck Dickens like I did.

In short, it was feared I was too unknown and too unliked, as I wasn't even considered the first time a leader was chosen and no one seems particularly ecstatic about the idea of my taking the position now. No one's been brave enough to speak dissent, which is sorta bothersome.

I've tried to take both that fact and the position in stride, though, to demonstrate my ambition if not capability. Have a lot of ideas where I want things to go, since there's so much put into the linkshell over the years from so many great people. If anything, would like to make 'linkshell' synonymous with 'community' again.

Webcomics added

I was recently reprimanded for not making public one of the webcomics I enjoy reading, so I went ahead and added most of what I think would be enjoyable to the sidebar in no particular order ('cept Questionable Content, 'cause Jeph Jacques is the best). To say that there are a lot out there is a dramatic understatement, but these are most of which I think anyone could like that haven't died over the years or are all-age appropriate.

Discerning.

Meriwether Lewis, of 'Lewis and Clark: Expeditionnaire' fame and fortuna, kept a journal. During his lengthy bouts of depression, it's been said his journal remained without entry--though whether the reason was nothing to articulate or the thoughts best kept to himself isn't particularly clear. Allegations of suicide had sullied his name at the time, in an interesting contrast to the latest acceptance and dramatic depiction of illness and self-harm (Beautiful Mind, Sylvia).

I had originally planned on abandoning the blog in similar emo fashion, but I find myself writing more than ever in a strange contrast. My book, I mean. Thinking back, it's when most of my writing--my best, at that--happens in my relentless restlessness, physically and mentally speaking. There's something to be found when it's so dark, something imaginative that's typically there, but far more dormant than I seem to realize.

Someone very close to me once mentioned I find something to busy myself, detract my attention and focus to help the process. The silly Hawaiian was right.

Kiska oft mentions that I crack myself up with my decidedly 'impaired' (read: retarded) dark sense of humor; someone has to, I reply. Though not entirely hapless in my attempts, no doubt my verbosenessity of the next while will be cut short.

Like my Hawaiian.

Quiet.

In ninth grade honor's English, freshman year of high school, our teacher had us write a letter to our graduating persons, three years from that moment. It would be read by none other than ourselves, or her at our discretion. The template was blank, free of use. Therein was my problem.

It was suggested we write out feelings of the time, the period. What could I possibly say? Articulating how I felt unless it was to extremes was impossible--I use past tense, but it still applies. It's a strange contrast, though, to my wife. The letter ended up being about her in its entirety, as I'd just met her and was admittedly dumbstruck. Here, years later, most all I can articulate is about her once more. She can continue on about the smallest of things, while it's a concept entirely lost on me.

There are exciting things going on, though. It's now officially one week to the North American launch of the PlayStation 3. Sony released its official manual online, giving some interesting information on features--the ability to upload and download from the web browser, for example. Information is given on the 'wallet' for the PlayStation store; one must add funds directly to the wallet in order to make purchases by default. This essentialy keeps one from spending too much, and would help monitor/limit those that intend to make purchases--the younger generation, for one. Of course, the option to automatically add funds is available, but that ruins the fun. And likely your physical wallet. The ability to set default languages for Blu-ray and DVD movies (menus, subtitles, language) before actually staring the disc up is an interesting and appreciated addition.

But I'm a nerd.

Child's Play kicks off.

When gamers give back, it makes a difference.

Founded by Jerry 'Tycho' Holkins and Mike 'Gabe' Krahulik of Penny Arcade fame, this is the year's motto for Child's Play charity drive aimed at making hospitalized children that much happier for the holiday season.

From the Child's Play site:

Since 2003, gamers have banded together through registered Seattle-based charity, Child’s Play. Over a million dollars in donations of toys, games, books and cash for sick kids in children’s hospitals across North America and the world have been collected…

We collect no administrative fees or other charges, 100% of all gifts and donations go directly to our partner hospitals, to help make life a little brighter for a sick child.

Donations can be made utilizing their interactive map, which displays an impressive cooperation of twenty-five differing international hospitals. Last year boasted over six hundred thousand (600,000) dollars in donations, which is expected to rise once more this year.


Entertainment software has obviously found its place with most any that would happen across it; it's certainly one thing to pass the time, but another to earnestly immerse--to bring unadultered, unfettered joy to one in such an unfortunate happenstance as youth being hospitalized. Their given illness or surgery is more than enough.


I also understand, more than one should, that getting through the holiday season is difficult enough--much more so when trying to give your loved ones gifts they may cherish. But if one were able, I implore to give Child's Play consideration. It's not to assume there are more important or pressing charities to offer aid, but what kind of price can one put on giving children joy in suffering's stead?

Moo

 
Content -noun
   that which may be perceived in something

Content -adjective
    satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else

Have to love dual meaning; it's open to interpretation, and when used in purpose to present one's self, in what manner will one given person find definition?

My first impression of a blog, when Kissa made one, was 'must beat wife' 'lolblog.' But after a while of considering that I don't really keep track of my thoughts and they're easily forgotten, I think it's worth a shot at least. LiveJournal has never appealed to me in any sort of slight degree, but this is actually rather nice.

Acting under the assumption that no single person can possibly be kept interested long enough to read anything I've to say at any given length, most thoughts will be towards what's going on for an archival-effect; gaming news, YouTube fancies and what have you that I've wanted to keep track of in a blog-esque fashion that has yet to be accomplished.